March 10, 2011
The Bewildered Gardner and her Husband: On CameliasPosted by Cathy Heck
Wife: (last summer) Honey, will you spray the Camelia bush with mildew spray?
Wife: (after going outside and noticing that Camelia bush is gone) Where is the Camelia bush?
Husband: I replanted it over there.
Wife: In the sun? They don’t like sun. It just needed mildew spray.
Husband: I think that’s why it had mildew. No sun.
Wife: It just needed a little spray. It won’t grow in the sun.
Husband: I think it likes the sun better.
Wife: No, I’m pretty sure it likes shade better.
Husband: Let’s just see. Since I already planted that one there, we’ll plant a new one in the pot in the shade.
Wife: Okay. (Trying not to sound too smug.)
Wife goes to plant store to buy new camelia. Attendant tells wife that new bush must be planted in wet peat. Husband kindly fills giant bag of peat with water. It is heavy. He then surrounds new bush with heavy soggy peat.
Long hot summer ensues. Camelia bush in sun dies. Camelia bush in shade thrives. Wife feels a little bit nah-nah, which is our word for “I told you so” … however …. thanks to kind and gentle husband planting in well-prepared peat, new camelia bush is much more beautiful than old camelia bush.
Wife: (last week) Wow, look at your Camelia bush … it is loaded with blooms.
Husband: That’s because Camelias grow much better in the shade.
Wife: Are you saying that in your “Yes, dear” voice?
Husband: Yes, dear.